Tuesday 24 March 2009

Rafting down the Nile & a common day 24-03-09

So I haven’t written in a while because since rural homestays, life in Uganda has been pretty normal. It’s that phenomenon: if you don’t take pictures in the first 6 months of living in a place, you never will! Except it’s only been 2.5 months, of course.
So I’ll just give some well-illustrated highlights, and maybe (this is ambitious) what a typical day looks like for me. :)

Two weekends ago most of us went white water rafting on the Nile! As expected, I was really anxious about the whole endeavor, mostly because I thought I just wouldn’t be able to hold my own in my raft. I’ve never been rafting before, and I thought I was going to start on the NILE?! Yeah. Right.
My roommate, Kelsey, planned the whole thing –organizing transportation, talking to the hostel we stayed at, getting us group discounts, everything. She did an absolutely fantastic job and we all had a wonderful experience.
The hostel we stayed at was one of the most comfortable lodgings we’ve had all semester, though that was because of the atmosphere more than anything else. It seemed to be co-owned by an Australian man and a Kenyan, both of whom were fairly young and obviously weather-hardened adventurers. They were so nice, and it was such a blessing to be in a place that broke down the pervasive stigma of white/African separation in businesses. We weren’t treated as intrusive strangers, like sometimes happens in Kampala or in Soroti, but neither were we rich customers to be catered to. Praise God for such an example of partnership, to a degree I haven’t seen even in churches in Uganda.

On top of the relaxing atmosphere, we also had yummy food, mostly free with our rafting, comfortable beds, hot showers, and fans. I haven’t seen a fan since I left the states! Lying in a cool, clean bed (be it ever so hard) and having a gentle breeze blow through your mosquito net is a sensation not to be belittled.

Rafting itself was one of the hugest adventurers I have ever had in my life! The entire time I feared for my life, but trusted our guide absolutely. He was a crazy Ugandan named Nathan who has rafted and kayaked all over the world –such knowledge and confidence! Actually, this is kind of embarrassing, but one of our exchanges with Nathan is just such an accurate picture of my gratefulness for him that I have to record it for you:

He had just had us jump out of the raft and float down a small rapid on our backs, to get us used to the sensation of being a bit pushed by the water. Afterwards, I struggled to swim back to the boat and had to be hauled back inside by Nathan, with one hand, of course. We caught our breath and talked over how it felt to be at the mercy of the current, but then Nathan asked, “So, did you love your first experience in the water?” And as everyone chorused, “Yes!” I just sat there, winded, not really sure how I felt. So Nathan looks at me and goes, “Emily, did you love your experience?” And out of nowhere I felt the words leave my mouth: “I love… you.”

I didn’t even mean to say it, he was just my hero at the moment! I immediately turned bright red at the raucous laughter of my boat-mates and Nathan himself, but it was too funny to be embarrassed about for very long.

That first experience was tame in retrospect, but it definitely did the trick in getting me acclimated to being thrown into the water. Our boat actually only flipped once, but that was enough, believe me. Other than that, we credit our “upright-ness” to our superior paddling skills and the expertise of Nathan, who was obviously the best guide on the river that day. We’re bought one of the videos that a crazy kayaker made of our day on the Nile, and we’re going to make copies. So hopefully I’ll be able to share that when I get back, as the experience as a whole is really indescribable.

Aside from rafting, we’ve had a pretty tame 3 weeks since homestays, interspersed with visits to Kampala on the weekends and a field trip to Luweero for our HIV/AIDS unit. I’ve loved the normalcy of it all, but I’ve had to readjust my perspective a few times. This trip is no longer like a vacation, or even like an adventure, it’s more just, life. But completely transforming, vacation-esque life, so of course it is still wonderful. We’ve finished discussing Compassion, HIV/AIDS, poverty, and Ugandan politics, and now we’re beginning “debt, aid, and trade” and Mere Discipleship, by Lee Camp. I also have to keep attending my other classes, unfortunately, and they are very frustrating! I have not yet gotten the hang of Ugandan-style classes and I truly don’t expect to. This is rather hard for me to handle, especially because I am continuing to not get the kind of grades I’m used to getting. However, I’m doing my best and trying to take it all in stride, though that doesn’t always work  I think it is going to be good for me in the long run, to release me from a bit of the obsession I have with getting “straight A’s” all the time. I know good grades are a legitimate thing to strive for, but everything in moderation.

So, a typical day in the life of me. Actually, I think I’ll do a week. No. a day. Let’s pick a Thursday, one of my favorite days of the week.

5:51am – the “morning glory” fellowship starts beating a drum to call us all to worship.
5:53am – I fall back asleep after getting mad at the drum
6:10am – the “morning glory” fellowship starts beating the drum again, because not enough of us responded to the call to worship.
6:12am – I fall back asleep after wondering why they are still drumming (stupid question, as this happens every day)
6:20am – (on a bad day) the “morning glory” fellowship starts beating the drum again, because apparently, still not enough of us responded to the call to worship.
6:22am – I fall back asleep, rather grateful by this point that I’m mostly awake, since my alarm’s going to go off soon anyways

6:25am – wake up, get dressed and washed in the dark because Kels and Ash are still sleeping, unless they are going running that morning. No, I do not join them in their athletic endeavors because frankly, I have no desire to.

6:55am – walk in the growing dawn light to Honors college, which is about 3 min across campus.

7:00am – get online (this early in the morning is one of the only times the internet moves at anywhere near a humane speed). Usually I’ll chat with Andrew on Skype, download emails, do any business-y things I need to take care of, and upload pictures.

8:25am – sometimes I go to breakfast around 8, but usually not. At this point I leave Honors College to go to “African Christian Theology”, my class with two other USPers and about 30 middle-aged Masters of Divinity students.
8:30am- sitting in the classroom with Ashley and Naomi, wondering if we actually have class today or not.

8:45am – “Are they coming?” “Did the prof say yesterday he was not coming today?”

9:00am – “Did he say class starts at 9:30?” “Man, why do we never catch these things? I could’ve sworn he said 8:30.”
At around this point one of our classmates might trickle in or we might work up the nerve to ask someone sitting in the room if there is a class in there today or not. Usually the answer is a shrug, but sometimes it is, “Oh, he said yesterday we weren’t having class today” or something of that sort that somehow we managed to miss during lecture.
Sometimes class actually does start at 8:30am, but the kind of waiting-game experience described above is guaranteed to happen at least once a week, in some class or another.

10:30am – get out of class in time for morning tea. Head to “Touch of Class” (a canteen) or to the dining hall for a cup of African tea and perhaps a “pancake” (not what you think) or a chapatti. African tea is half milk, half water, and half sugar. Figure that one out.

11:00am – sometimes I go take a nap, sometimes I read a letter I got that morning from Ands while sipping a smoothie at the Guild Canteen, sometimes I read for class. Usually I don’t have too much to do, though.

12:00pm – Community worship (kind of like chapel at Messiah College) or continued naptime. Community worship usually consists of some sweet praise songs, mixed English and Luganda words, a long prayer session, and an even longer message. I enjoy it, but sometimes the humor in the sermons just goes way over my head. They’ll say something like, “And the wife failed to get matoke for dinner!” And the room will explode in laughter, for no reason I can fathom. There’s always something to learn, though, so I try to go pretty often.

1:00pm – lunchtime at the dining hall, on a good day (and Thursday usually is a good day), we’ll have irish potatoes (small, boiled, then fried), brown beans in a vegetable sauce, and pineapple. This is a seriously good meal.

1:30pm – go back to my room, get my stuff for literature class, and talk to Kels, Ash, Kristen, or Katie for awhile.

2:00pm – “African Literature” for two solid hours. I like this class because the material offers real insight into African culture. We’ve read Things Fall Apart, Mission to Kala, Upon this Mountain, and Grain of Wheat, among other short stories and poems. The great thing about having this class here in Uganda is that I actually have time to read and enjoy the books! Having very little homework makes for a very sparse grading method, but a more relaxed atmosphere, the glory of which is not to be belittled.

4:00pm – finally get out of lit, usually I go to the Children’s library to check out the next Chronicle of Narnia (my current obsession) or something else frivolous to read.

4:30-6:30pm – go back to the room, hang out, do laundry, eat bread and butter or jam, drink hot chocolate (weird in this heat, but really good), iron clothes (takes forever), read for Faith and Action class on Friday, go down to the football pitch to watch some of practice, etc.

6:30pm – recently we’ve dubbed Thursday night our official roommate dinner night, on which we have PIZZA. Mark and Abbey (the USP director and his wife) taught a young Ugandan woman to make American-style pizza and sell it to the American students. It’s absolutely divine and the highlight of my week. For about $5 a pizza it’s totally affordable and fairly filling. Yum.

7:30pm – usually we go to Honours College at this point to do homework or research whatever paper we’re supposed to be doing on the internet. There’s always a ton of people in one of the dorm lounges, so it’s a fun time to hang out, listen to music, and chat with some of the Ugandan Honours College students or other USPers.

9:00pm – head back to our dorm, Sabiti Hall, and get ready for bed. I know this is early, but I absolutely love going to bed at a ridiculously early hour. It’s magical. It’s seriously one of the great joys of my “vacation” here and luckily my roommates are on the same page. Sometimes I end up reading until about 10:30, but that’s late for us.

*getting ready for bed:
1. change into a big t-shirt and shorts for sleeping
2. gather toothbrush, retainers, toilet paper, toothpaste, face wash, contact stuff, etc., to tote to the bathroom
3. cram all the above stuff onto a little bitty sink with water that is not quite clear,  but oh, Praise the Lord for running water! Use the only “western style” toilet in the bathroom, that doesn’t have a seat but is better in my opinion than the “squatty potties.” Katie and Kristen are both advocates of the squatties but I just find them uncomfortable. Anyways.
4. wash hands and face, brush teeth, wash feet. Yes, feet. They are always covered in red dirt and if you forget to wash them you will certainly be washing your sheets next week.
5. Head back to the room, stash all my toiletries, climb onto our one desk and from there into my bed
6. rearrange sheets, get out ear plugs, arrange various books and flashlights so they don’t fall down onto poor Kelsey during the night.
7. pull out mosquito net, drape it over bed frame, tuck in to mattress sides, and use clothespin to clip the section above my face to the curtains. It is quite a process.
8. insert ear plugs and GO TO SLEEP!

So that’s my day, I hope you found it interesting because it’s pretty typical.

Thursday 12 March 2009

Musings on the book "Compassion" 10-03-09

This morning I went to tea by myself, and I was kind of reading Compassion, kind of just thinking about things, and I realized something about my experience here. I think things have shifted from being a “cross-cultural experience,” you know with culture shock, and feeling uncomfortable, and just learning from things being so different. I think I’m ok with that kind of stuff now, or at least I’ve built up my own little walls and mental pathways around things (which may or may not be good, I’m sure staying sensitive is a continuous process). Now, it seems that God is really working on me. On the inside of me, on my identity.

But not in the way you’d expect.

I don’t know any more about what I want to do, or the things I want out of life. I feel that instead of tacking things onto my “to-do list” of life, God is pulling things off. It’s like my whole life I’ve been trying to figure out “who I am” and “who I want to be” by figuring out what I like and don’t like, where I want to go, character traits I want to possess, things I want to accomplish, how I want to be looked upon. That journey of self-discovery has its merits, but has completely defined my identity. I think God is saying, “My child, all these things are manifestations of who you are, but why do you cling to them?”

This is hard to explain.

I felt that I’ve been trying to plan, to make things go my way, and all of a sudden I realized I didn’t need to struggle so hard. I didn’t need to know everything in advance, to lay my future out in a way that is comforting not only to me, but to my parents and family as well. I feel as if I can just be. And have confidence in the fact that when decisions come, they will have been brought by God, I will have been prepared to make them by God, and they will progress in the hand of God. I can’t believe it’s taken 21 years (almost) for such a fundamental spiritual truth to sink in.

I think this has been dawning on me gradually, especially when issues come up like marriage, relationships, children, career, grad school, etc. My reaction lately has not been, “Oh my gosh, I have no idea!” It’s been this strange disinterested confidence, knowing that when those decisions come, I am fully equipped to experience them in the hand of Christ. Do you know what I mean?

I feel compelled to defend the way I have been brought up and all those points which are usually raised in response to these kinds of musings: “God helps those who help themselves,” “How can God work in you if you don’t prepare the field for harvest?” etc etc. But none of my most recent revelation negates those things. Yes, I strive for excellence, as any one who knows me is more than aware. But how many times has that striving blinded me to the movements of God, crowded out the whisper of the Holy Spirit? How little I have valued silence, all these years.

I feel now that spiritual retreats are such an essential part of growth, and confidence in Christ. I have always known the wisdom in seeking out guidance from other, older Christians and friends, of making your decisions not in isolation, but in community. Yet, I have never felt the intense calm brought on by silence before the Lord. I’ve read, “When you come into the presence of a King, do you jabber or wait in stunned silence?” And I’ve said, well of course- everyone knows you can’t just talk in prayer, you have to listen, too. But I have experienced the rewards of “waiting upon the Lord” to an amazing degree here. God’s so good. : )

Oh, this is not even the beginning of what God is showing me… Just silly things like having to teach that class, or being away from engineering for a semester, or reading all these deeply theological books, have really affected where I find my identity. I had this mental image of my soul, my essence, being a glowing coal, an orb, at the center of my being. All these other things like my major, my “vocation”, my family issues, my hobbies, my pursuits, my friends, were pieces of rock or wood stuck to the sides of the glowing ember, built up around it in a sphere. This semester God is pulling those things off, not to devalue them, but to reveal my soul, my center, as the most important, the only reality of who I am –held in the hand of Christ. “if God is for us, who can be against us?” How can I make decisions outside of my faith? Who I am if not defined by Christ?

This seems so heavy and so… ambitious, but how I really feel! I have that rational impulse to label this as a “Mountaintop moment,” but I also believe this is a paradigm shift in my identity, in how I move forward in life. You know what it is? It’s that these kinds of words, these declarations, come from “spiritual heroes,” not from people like me. But Compassion is showing me how there really is no dichotomy or gradations of spirituality- those are imposed by us and our fallen nature. God is teaching me to value my identity in Him as the greatest of gifts, not somehow fallen short because I don’t have a passion for missions or preaching. I think that allowing ourselves to separate from the “spiritually great” is just an excuse for mediocrity. Saying, “oh, I just feel called to minister in my office by being a Christian, or by going to church –I’m no missionary.” Is something I’ve fallen prey to my whole life. I still have no idea how to be truly passionate, truly living transparently for God in an “ordinary” setting, but I think that’s what makes it such a challenge, such a noble pursuit, in chasing that elusive road to the heights of living like Christ.

--Emmes

Friday 6 March 2009

10 days in the bush, 20-2-09 to 1-3-09

Rural homestay = lots of relaxing, very slow pace of life.
Stayed with mama Constance, whose husband passed away in 2006 and whose only son is at Makerere University. So it was just Joy, myself, and her, which was awesome and so peaceful. Mama just wanted to take care of us, but in a very gentle way that is not typical of most of the “mamas” we’ve met here. She made us our favorite foods (rice, beans, chicken, goat, cabbage, and irish potatoes), and let us help her cook and keep the fire going. We also washed dishes and fetched water, shelled groundnuts, and gardened (a bit). But our lifestyle was so relaxed, especially compared to some of our friends that worked so hard.
We spent a lot of time just sitting in these little wooden chairs, “watching the road.” Sometimes we would talk, especially about Mama’s story –how she got engaged, about her family, about Ugandan customs and iTeso ways (iTeso was the ethnic group in Soroti). Most of the time, though, we’d just be quiet, which was so refreshing. I got to think about so many things, seriously God brought things up from years into my past and just, talked to me about them. I developed such a sense of peace and much more of an ability to just be quiet, and to be alone with God. It’s helped my time here in a lot of ways, particularly with interacting with other USP students and really prizing the quiet time I get to spend with my Father. Such a blessing.


There’s much more to write, but it was such a huge experience I can’t hope to commit it to paper. I am going to post pictures, and I look forward to sharing more about how my rural homestay affected me when I get home.

After 6 days with Mama Constance, we went to Sipi Falls. It was a much less posh resort than at Jinja –I actually found myself really homesick for Mama Constance and our comfortable little grass hut. But the real point in us being at Sipi was to go hiking! The hotel/hostel thing was perched on the side of these sweeping mountains, that were more like cliffs. Our cliff swept down the mountain to this valley that the falls dumped into, and then raced up the other side. Our hike was to go all the way to the bottom of the falls and then back up to their source. When we got back and looked where we had gone –I could not believe it. One of the best parts was Sunday morning, when we had worship at 7:30am on the highest hill in the area. The hike up there was pretty intense, but the view was completely amazing. I didn’t even take a picture because to downsize the effect would’ve been so paltry. We sang, “Behold he comes, riding on a cloud, shining like the sun, at the trumpet call!” and it was so moving! You looked out over the cliffs and into the fields that went on forever and they just faded into the cloud line. I couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed by the thought that if Jesus came, that moment, riding on a cloud, we would be the first ones to see Him! I could just feel the possibility of something great sweeping towards us out of the vast horizon. So crazy.

Now that we’re back at school, things are very much normal again. We’re halfway through the semester and the staff keeps encouraging us to stay present and not let our time slip away. I already feel like this week has flown by, which is always the case with school weeks. This weekend we’re going to Kampala to meet Ashley’s sister who is in the peace corps here for the next two years, and next weekend we’re going white water rafting on the Nile! Pretty much when we don’t have trips, our time is bookmarked by weekends. Classes are just mundane, and the workload is light, thank goodness.

We’re having a few struggles with the culture still, mainly learning how to deal with our Ugandan friends feeling comfortable asking us for money, but it not being appropriate to give them any. That’s hard, especially when it’s something as trivial as $15 to a girl who has done so much for us. However, it only perpetuates a stigma of separation between Americans and Ugandans in a way that is actually detrimental to our relationship and the prospects of any future USP students. It’s hard to think that long-term when you know you have the money in your back pocket, and they know it too. Pray for those kinds of difficulties, if you have a spare moment.

We are still learning a ton, especially in our Faith & Action class –about poverty, simple living, development, and politics. We’re currently reading Compassion, by Henri Nouwen, which is a great read. Not quite as challenging as John Taylor, but more readable. A lot of the students are really enjoying it, including me. I have a few papers and short things to write, and I’m looking forward to working with an on-campus drama group to choreograph a ballet piece for their spring performance. Nothing fancy, just expressive and worshipful.

--Emmes

Sunday 1 March 2009

Return to UCU campus, 1-3-09

I wanted you all to know that Emily safely returned back to campus today (Sunday) with the rest of the USP students. From talking with her, it sounds that she had a wonderful time at her rural home-stay and God really blessed this experience, which is truly an answer to prayer. She will hopefully be able to post something soon, though tomorrow she is serving at the local Orphanage through a school program so she may not be able to put up a new blog entry till Tuesday.
--Andrew